How-To Guide for Gay Destination Weddings
By
The Bride & Bride and Groom & Groom
By Kelsy Chauvin
The push for same-sex marriage kicked off in spring 2004, when the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that limiting marriage to heterosexual couples was unconstitutional. It was a decision that made waves from coast to coast ever since, this year rallying New York state officials to join the big gay wedding party with its own ratification.
But with the legal landscape for gay nuptials ever evolving, what's the state-of-the-unions like for those six equality-minded territories where lesbians and gay men are lining up for licenses? Here's a rundown of how things stand for those ready to tie the knot in Massachusetts, Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, and New York, as well as in Washington, D.C., and Oregon's Coquille Nation.
Photo Caption: On the steps of City Hall in San Francisco, during the brief period when gay & lesbian couples could marry in California. Photo by Marc Love/Flickr.com.
The push for same-sex marriage kicked off in spring 2004, when the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that limiting marriage to heterosexual couples was unconstitutional. It was a decision that made waves from coast to coast ever since, this year rallying New York state officials to join the big gay wedding party with its own ratification.
But with the legal landscape for gay nuptials ever evolving, what's the state-of-the-unions like for those six equality-minded territories where lesbians and gay men are lining up for licenses? Here's a rundown of how things stand for those ready to tie the knot in Massachusetts, Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, and New York, as well as in Washington, D.C., and Oregon's Coquille Nation.
Photo Caption: On the steps of City Hall in San Francisco, during the brief period when gay & lesbian couples could marry in California. Photo by Marc Love/Flickr.com.
Massachusetts
Legal since: May 17, 2004
The right to marry was ruled legal for same-sex couples in Massachusetts on November 18, 2003, and six months later went into effect. Four years later, Governor Deval Patrick repealed a 1913 law that barred couples from marrying in Massachusetts if their marriage would not be recognized in their home state. As a result, even out-of-state couples can now marry in Massachusetts.
A marriage license costs $4 to $50, depending on the city (cash is safest, though some offices take checks or money orders). Both people, each with proof of age over 18 years old, must apply in person at the local city or town hall to file a "Notice of Intention of Marriage," then wait three days for a 60-day license to be issued -- that is, unless the couple requests a waiting-period waiver for immediate issuance.
Massachusetts will recognize same-sex marriages legally performed elsewhere. Whether other state and national governments will respect your marriage depends entirely on that community's local laws. Any ordained or licensed clergymen, or justice of the peace may perform weddings here, and out-of-state clergy must get authorization from the Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth; a regular joe can too, for a $25 fee.
Office locations to apply can be found here, or by searching "Commonwealth Communities" at www.mass.gov.
And of course, as the cradle of gay marriage in the United States, several Massachusetts-based companies are eager to help plan and organize weddings and honeymoons, so feel free to be choosy in your shopping.
Photo Caption: Scene from Boston moments after the Massachusetts Legislature voted to reject a constitutional amendment which would have prohibited same-sex marriage. Photo by qwrrty/Flickr.com.
The right to marry was ruled legal for same-sex couples in Massachusetts on November 18, 2003, and six months later went into effect. Four years later, Governor Deval Patrick repealed a 1913 law that barred couples from marrying in Massachusetts if their marriage would not be recognized in their home state. As a result, even out-of-state couples can now marry in Massachusetts.
A marriage license costs $4 to $50, depending on the city (cash is safest, though some offices take checks or money orders). Both people, each with proof of age over 18 years old, must apply in person at the local city or town hall to file a "Notice of Intention of Marriage," then wait three days for a 60-day license to be issued -- that is, unless the couple requests a waiting-period waiver for immediate issuance.
Massachusetts will recognize same-sex marriages legally performed elsewhere. Whether other state and national governments will respect your marriage depends entirely on that community's local laws. Any ordained or licensed clergymen, or justice of the peace may perform weddings here, and out-of-state clergy must get authorization from the Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth; a regular joe can too, for a $25 fee.
Office locations to apply can be found here, or by searching "Commonwealth Communities" at www.mass.gov.
And of course, as the cradle of gay marriage in the United States, several Massachusetts-based companies are eager to help plan and organize weddings and honeymoons, so feel free to be choosy in your shopping.
Photo Caption: Scene from Boston moments after the Massachusetts Legislature voted to reject a constitutional amendment which would have prohibited same-sex marriage. Photo by qwrrty/Flickr.com.
Connecticut
Legal since: November 12, 2008
October 2008 was the magic month for lesbian and gay couples in Connecticut. That's when the state Supreme Court overturned the state's 2005 civil-unions statute as unconstitutionally discriminating against same-sex couples. The ruling also officially qualifies same-sex marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships from other jurisdictions as legal marriages in Connecticut.
To wed in the Constitution State, couples can appear together or individually, and expect to pay $30-35 for a 65-day license (cash is recommended). State law dictates that the happy couple need not be Connecticut residents, but must apply for a marriage license in the town where the ceremony is held. A photo I.D. is required, along with some vital background info such as: social security numbers, mother's maiden name, parents' birthplaces, date and location of your wedding, and name and contact info of your wedding officiant.
Speaking of officiants, any of these may perform weddings: active and retired judges, Connecticut state referees, justices of the peace, and licensed clergymen from any state. A friend or relative may also lead your wedding if an authorized officiator is also present to confirm your ceremony and to sign the marriage license.
For a list of Connecticut Town Clerks' contact information, click here or visit www.ct.gov.
Photo Caption: Join the Impact rally in Hartford, Connecticut. Photo by VJnet/Flickr.com.
October 2008 was the magic month for lesbian and gay couples in Connecticut. That's when the state Supreme Court overturned the state's 2005 civil-unions statute as unconstitutionally discriminating against same-sex couples. The ruling also officially qualifies same-sex marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships from other jurisdictions as legal marriages in Connecticut.
To wed in the Constitution State, couples can appear together or individually, and expect to pay $30-35 for a 65-day license (cash is recommended). State law dictates that the happy couple need not be Connecticut residents, but must apply for a marriage license in the town where the ceremony is held. A photo I.D. is required, along with some vital background info such as: social security numbers, mother's maiden name, parents' birthplaces, date and location of your wedding, and name and contact info of your wedding officiant.
Speaking of officiants, any of these may perform weddings: active and retired judges, Connecticut state referees, justices of the peace, and licensed clergymen from any state. A friend or relative may also lead your wedding if an authorized officiator is also present to confirm your ceremony and to sign the marriage license.
For a list of Connecticut Town Clerks' contact information, click here or visit www.ct.gov.
Photo Caption: Join the Impact rally in Hartford, Connecticut. Photo by VJnet/Flickr.com.
Iowa
Legal since: April 27, 2009
Spring weddings were on the minds of many Iowan same-sex couples in 2009, when the state Supreme Court unanimously ruled that there was no vital governmental interest in denying citizens marriage licenses based on their sexual orientation. In the first 11 months, more than 2,000 same-sex couples tied the knot in Iowa -- accounting for more than 10% overall in that period.
Getting a marriage license in Iowa is as easy as heading to the County Registrar to file your personal information (including social security numbers and parents' names and birthplaces), along with a photo I.D. and $35 cash (checks and credit cards may be accepted, too, depending on the county). State residency isn't required, and the sixth-month license is issued after a three-day waiting period, but those who can't wait can apply and pay $5 for a waiver. With a licensed clergy member or justice of the peace on board, you're all set to get hitched.
Check out more details about the process at www.iowa.gov, and click here for a handy FAQ list of Iowa's counties and contact information.
Photo Caption: A rally held in Iowa City following the Supreme Court's decision to legalize same-sex marriage in Iowa. Photo by Alan Light/Wikimedia Commons.
Spring weddings were on the minds of many Iowan same-sex couples in 2009, when the state Supreme Court unanimously ruled that there was no vital governmental interest in denying citizens marriage licenses based on their sexual orientation. In the first 11 months, more than 2,000 same-sex couples tied the knot in Iowa -- accounting for more than 10% overall in that period.
Getting a marriage license in Iowa is as easy as heading to the County Registrar to file your personal information (including social security numbers and parents' names and birthplaces), along with a photo I.D. and $35 cash (checks and credit cards may be accepted, too, depending on the county). State residency isn't required, and the sixth-month license is issued after a three-day waiting period, but those who can't wait can apply and pay $5 for a waiver. With a licensed clergy member or justice of the peace on board, you're all set to get hitched.
Check out more details about the process at www.iowa.gov, and click here for a handy FAQ list of Iowa's counties and contact information.
Photo Caption: A rally held in Iowa City following the Supreme Court's decision to legalize same-sex marriage in Iowa. Photo by Alan Light/Wikimedia Commons.
Coquille Tribe, Oregon & Suquamish Tribe, Washington State
Legal since: May 24, 2009
While the state of Oregon has an amendment banning same-sex marriage, the Coquille Indian Tribe on the southern coast welcomes gay nuptials. The only rub for the rest of us is that one member of the happy couple must be a Coquille member. The matter is complicated by the fact that the Coquille's have federal sovereignty -- potentially challenging the federal Defense of Marriage Act, should a couple file suit to claim their equal rights on a national level. Check out the tribe's site at www.coquilletribe.org.
On Monday, August 1, Washington state's Suquamish Tribe announced that it would also allow same-sex marriage under similar conditions: One of the couple must be Suquamish and both must be over 18.
Photo Caption: Women's Shawl Dance, Suquamish Tribe, Washington State. Photo by rgordon/Flickr.com.
While the state of Oregon has an amendment banning same-sex marriage, the Coquille Indian Tribe on the southern coast welcomes gay nuptials. The only rub for the rest of us is that one member of the happy couple must be a Coquille member. The matter is complicated by the fact that the Coquille's have federal sovereignty -- potentially challenging the federal Defense of Marriage Act, should a couple file suit to claim their equal rights on a national level. Check out the tribe's site at www.coquilletribe.org.
On Monday, August 1, Washington state's Suquamish Tribe announced that it would also allow same-sex marriage under similar conditions: One of the couple must be Suquamish and both must be over 18.
Photo Caption: Women's Shawl Dance, Suquamish Tribe, Washington State. Photo by rgordon/Flickr.com.
Vermont
Legal since: September 1, 2009
The Green Mountain state donned its rainbow colors in 2009, when it became the first to legalize same-sex marriage through the legislature instead of the courts -- topping the 1999 Vermont law granting equal rights to same-sex couples under the term "civil unions." The first gay weddings took place starting on September 1, 2009; among them were Bill Slimback and Bob Sullivan, who marked their already 17-year commitment with a sunrise ceremony.
In Vermont, a local can get a marriage license from his or her local Town Clerk. Out-of-towners should file in the county where the marriage will take place. For a $45 fee, a 60-day license will be issued immediately -- but then, don't forget the mandatory one-day waiting period to legally use it.
Standard photo I.D. is required for the license, along with basic background information. Once the couple is wedded by a Vermont judge, justice, or clergy member, or by anyone else ready to be certified for a $100 fee, the license is signed and becomes the marriage certificate.
Take a closer look at Vermont's marriage details at www.vermont.gov. And a quick web search will yield many gay-centric websites to help plan a perfectly Vermont-esque ceremony.
Photo Caption: 25th annual Pride Parade in Burlington, Vermont. Photo by zappowbang/Flickr.com.
The Green Mountain state donned its rainbow colors in 2009, when it became the first to legalize same-sex marriage through the legislature instead of the courts -- topping the 1999 Vermont law granting equal rights to same-sex couples under the term "civil unions." The first gay weddings took place starting on September 1, 2009; among them were Bill Slimback and Bob Sullivan, who marked their already 17-year commitment with a sunrise ceremony.
In Vermont, a local can get a marriage license from his or her local Town Clerk. Out-of-towners should file in the county where the marriage will take place. For a $45 fee, a 60-day license will be issued immediately -- but then, don't forget the mandatory one-day waiting period to legally use it.
Standard photo I.D. is required for the license, along with basic background information. Once the couple is wedded by a Vermont judge, justice, or clergy member, or by anyone else ready to be certified for a $100 fee, the license is signed and becomes the marriage certificate.
Take a closer look at Vermont's marriage details at www.vermont.gov. And a quick web search will yield many gay-centric websites to help plan a perfectly Vermont-esque ceremony.
Photo Caption: 25th annual Pride Parade in Burlington, Vermont. Photo by zappowbang/Flickr.com.
New Hampshire
Legal since: January 1, 2010
On New Year's Day 2010, New Hampshire joined its New England neighbor states by passing a same-sex marriage law that surpassed the civil-union law enacted two years prior. The law recognizes same-sex civil unions or marriages performed in other states. Plus, those who formed civil unions prior to the new 2010 law found themselves automatically, officially married.
A 90-day marriage license can be obtained immediately for $45 in cash (only), along with the usual photo I.D. and personal background information, through any city or nine county clerk's offices. Local couples should file in one of their home counties, while non-New Hampshire residents should file in the town of their ceremony. Authorized wedding officiants may be a judge, justice or clergy residing in New Hampshire, or a non-resident clergy who's filed for a special license from the Secretary of State.
Official New Hampshire marriage license details are available on each city's and county's website. Click here for a directory of the state's wedding and event planners -- from justices of the peace to limo companies to classic Granite State inns.
Photo Caption: State capitol building in Concord, New Hampshire. Photo by hyku/Flickr.com.
On New Year's Day 2010, New Hampshire joined its New England neighbor states by passing a same-sex marriage law that surpassed the civil-union law enacted two years prior. The law recognizes same-sex civil unions or marriages performed in other states. Plus, those who formed civil unions prior to the new 2010 law found themselves automatically, officially married.
A 90-day marriage license can be obtained immediately for $45 in cash (only), along with the usual photo I.D. and personal background information, through any city or nine county clerk's offices. Local couples should file in one of their home counties, while non-New Hampshire residents should file in the town of their ceremony. Authorized wedding officiants may be a judge, justice or clergy residing in New Hampshire, or a non-resident clergy who's filed for a special license from the Secretary of State.
Official New Hampshire marriage license details are available on each city's and county's website. Click here for a directory of the state's wedding and event planners -- from justices of the peace to limo companies to classic Granite State inns.
Photo Caption: State capitol building in Concord, New Hampshire. Photo by hyku/Flickr.com.
Washington, D.C.
Legal since: March 3, 2010
The nation's capital asserted its will for equality when Mayor Adrian Fenty signed a same-sex marriage bill into law on in December 18, 2009. "With today's bill signing, the District has once again proven its long-time commitment to social justice and equality," he said after the signing event at the all-welcoming All Souls Church.
Acquiring a marriage license is as easy as downloading and completing an official application through www.dccourts.gov or directly here (link opens PDF file), then filing it at the Moultrie Courthouse, 500 Indiana Avenue, N.W., Room 4485. Both partners must be present to complete the filing process, and $45 fee in cash or money order is necessary, as is a three-day waiting period. Return with your payment receipt after that and you're ready to ring the wedding bells.
More Washington, D.C., official marriage details are spelled out here.
Photo Caption: Marriage equality march in Washington, D.C. Photo by jsmjr/Flickr.com.
The nation's capital asserted its will for equality when Mayor Adrian Fenty signed a same-sex marriage bill into law on in December 18, 2009. "With today's bill signing, the District has once again proven its long-time commitment to social justice and equality," he said after the signing event at the all-welcoming All Souls Church.
Acquiring a marriage license is as easy as downloading and completing an official application through www.dccourts.gov or directly here (link opens PDF file), then filing it at the Moultrie Courthouse, 500 Indiana Avenue, N.W., Room 4485. Both partners must be present to complete the filing process, and $45 fee in cash or money order is necessary, as is a three-day waiting period. Return with your payment receipt after that and you're ready to ring the wedding bells.
More Washington, D.C., official marriage details are spelled out here.
Photo Caption: Marriage equality march in Washington, D.C. Photo by jsmjr/Flickr.com.
New York State
Legal since: July 24, 2011
The 2011 annual Gay Pride weekend festivities got a giant boost when the New York state legislature and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed same-sex marriage into law on June 24, 2011. As just the sixth state to legalize marriage for lesbians and gay men, it also joined an elite roster of favorite destinations for the LGBT community to ring in their nuptials.
In New York City, local leaders seized the moment to support marriage equality by opening its clerk's offices on Sunday, July 24th -- the official day gay weddings became legal -- to kick off the matrimonial influx. The city has one of the best websites for couples seeking marriage licenses, complete with a direct-download application from the City Clerk Online page (click here for that) and straightforward FAQs.
With the completed application and the $35 to $40 fee (depending on the city, money order or credit card only in some places), couples file for their 60-day marriage license in person at their local town clerk's office. The one-day waiting period can be skipped if a free judicial waiver is filed. And in New York city, an extra $25 will get you an on-the-spot civil ceremony by the city clerk.
New York State honors same-sex marriages performed in any state, city or country where it is legal. A mayor (current or retired), judge, justice, clergy member, or other pre-authorized officiants can perform the honors. Read more about state requirements here.
Photo Caption: The 42nd Annual Heritage of Pride Parade in New York City, June 26, 2011. Photo by asterix611/Flickr.com.
The 2011 annual Gay Pride weekend festivities got a giant boost when the New York state legislature and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed same-sex marriage into law on June 24, 2011. As just the sixth state to legalize marriage for lesbians and gay men, it also joined an elite roster of favorite destinations for the LGBT community to ring in their nuptials.
In New York City, local leaders seized the moment to support marriage equality by opening its clerk's offices on Sunday, July 24th -- the official day gay weddings became legal -- to kick off the matrimonial influx. The city has one of the best websites for couples seeking marriage licenses, complete with a direct-download application from the City Clerk Online page (click here for that) and straightforward FAQs.
With the completed application and the $35 to $40 fee (depending on the city, money order or credit card only in some places), couples file for their 60-day marriage license in person at their local town clerk's office. The one-day waiting period can be skipped if a free judicial waiver is filed. And in New York city, an extra $25 will get you an on-the-spot civil ceremony by the city clerk.
New York State honors same-sex marriages performed in any state, city or country where it is legal. A mayor (current or retired), judge, justice, clergy member, or other pre-authorized officiants can perform the honors. Read more about state requirements here.
Photo Caption: The 42nd Annual Heritage of Pride Parade in New York City, June 26, 2011. Photo by asterix611/Flickr.com.
Marriage Equality Efforts in Other States
These states listed above are not alone in acknowledging the commitments of lesbians and gay men. Several more offer legal unions for same-sex couples -- many of which grant limited rights and responsibilities of marriage under the terms "civil union" or "domestic partnership." Those states include:
Colorado
Hawaii
Maine
Maryland
New Jersey
Nevada
Oregon
Rhode Island
Wisconsin
Illinois
Washington State
Some, like New Jersey, even offer equal rights for legal unions as for marriages, with only the term itself differing. Meanwhile, Maryland recognizes same-sex marriages formed in other jurisdictions, without performing them within their own borders. New Mexico has no laws on the books that specifically allow or prohibit same-sex marriages or other types of same-sex unions.
As for national law, the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act denies federal recognition of gay marriages and gives each state the right to refuse same-sex licenses issued by other states. On the bright side, the act doesn't prohibit states from allowing gay marriages... but then neither does it require them to recognize other states' marriages.
Photo Caption: Supporters of same-sex marriage protest on the west steps of the California Capitol. Photo by ProComKelly/Flickr.com.
Colorado
Hawaii
Maine
Maryland
New Jersey
Nevada
Oregon
Rhode Island
Wisconsin
Illinois
Washington State
Some, like New Jersey, even offer equal rights for legal unions as for marriages, with only the term itself differing. Meanwhile, Maryland recognizes same-sex marriages formed in other jurisdictions, without performing them within their own borders. New Mexico has no laws on the books that specifically allow or prohibit same-sex marriages or other types of same-sex unions.
As for national law, the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act denies federal recognition of gay marriages and gives each state the right to refuse same-sex licenses issued by other states. On the bright side, the act doesn't prohibit states from allowing gay marriages... but then neither does it require them to recognize other states' marriages.
Photo Caption: Supporters of same-sex marriage protest on the west steps of the California Capitol. Photo by ProComKelly/Flickr.com.
Gay Weddings for International Travelers
On an international scale, DOMA prohibits federal recognition of same-sex couples in the United States. That means gay and lesbian foreign-born partners of U.S. citizens are not recognized for immigration purposes -- though with lawsuits pending, federal law could be altered in years to come. And let's not forget about the 10 equality-minded nations (and Mexico City!) who welcome lesbian and gay marriages:
Argentina
Belgium
Canada
Iceland
Netherlands
Norway
Portugal
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
Twenty-one more countries also have federally legal civil unions and registered partnerships, and five more recognize those wedded couples from abroad (without conducting same-sex unions themselves).
The U.S. Department of State has posted a rundown of current marriage and immigration requirements here (though they are, of course, subject to change): http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/marriage/marriage_589.html
Gay and lesbian visitors to the U.S. must check with rules in their home country regarding recognition of same-sex unions, as rights can differ by state. For instance, unions of UK travelers who get married in the U.S. are recognized as civil unions (Connecticut), marriages (Massachusetts), and domestic partnerships (New Jersey and Maine).
Photo Caption: Gay Pride, Madrid. Photo by Juanjo Zanabria Masaveu/Flickr.com.
Argentina
Belgium
Canada
Iceland
Netherlands
Norway
Portugal
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
Twenty-one more countries also have federally legal civil unions and registered partnerships, and five more recognize those wedded couples from abroad (without conducting same-sex unions themselves).
The U.S. Department of State has posted a rundown of current marriage and immigration requirements here (though they are, of course, subject to change): http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/marriage/marriage_589.html
Gay and lesbian visitors to the U.S. must check with rules in their home country regarding recognition of same-sex unions, as rights can differ by state. For instance, unions of UK travelers who get married in the U.S. are recognized as civil unions (Connecticut), marriages (Massachusetts), and domestic partnerships (New Jersey and Maine).
Photo Caption: Gay Pride, Madrid. Photo by Juanjo Zanabria Masaveu/Flickr.com.
